A Royal Wedding – the muzungu gets an invitation
It’s not every day (week / month / lifetime) that you get an invitation to a Royal Wedding, so what’s a girl to say?
I was delighted, honoured (and excited!) to receive an invitation to attend our friend Prince David Wasajja’s wedding on April 27th 2013.
A big part of the excitement was seeing the Kabaka for the first time. I would translate the word Kabaka as King but my Ugandan friend D.K. says “the word King doesn’t really convey the grandeur we attach to the Kabaka, this symbol of our cultural well-being!”
An explosion of noise! The Kabaka arrives for Prince David Wasajja’s wedding 27.04.13 Kampala Uganda from @CharlieBeau Diary of a Muzungu on Vimeo.
There was an explosion of noise as the Kabaka arrived for Prince David Wasajja’s wedding at Rubaga Cathedral, Kampala.
According to Wikipedia, Prince David ‘Daudi’ Kintu Wasajja is “the youngest brother of Muwenda Mutebi II the current Kabaka of Buganda. He is the youngest son of the late Kabaka Muteesa II, the 35th Kabaka of the Kingdom of Buganda, and Winifred Keihangwe, an Ankole princess.”
There were some real characters at the Royal Wedding! Part 1:
Meet the bakongozi ba Kabaka, the clan whose duty it is to get the party going – literally!
A truckload of these guys rocked up, dressed in barkcloth and leopardskins, with (replica) spears – all part of the fanfare that announces the arrival of the Kabaka. Fireworks were let off and the throng went into meltdown.
“Let’s get it started…. yeah …. Let’s get it started…”
It was fascinating to see the Buganda culture ‘live in action.’ There was an explosion of noise as the Kabaka arrived for Prince David Wasajja’s wedding at Rubaga Cathedral, Kampala. The crowd’s excitement was tangible! Check out this teeny weeny (but LOUD!) video clip.
The Kabaka is rarely seen in public except for at a few official kingdom functions. In fact, it is his youngest brother who is often called upon to represent him at such occasions (but I hear he was busy that particular day).
David is very humble, so we easily forget Who He’s Related To.
That said, his wedding was not your average Ugandan wedding.
Traditional and modern, the Royal Wedding was a very inclusive affair: Baganda and other tribes, the Kingdom and the State, Catholic and Anglican, friends and family, Hashers and non-Hashers – they’d even thrown in a handful of bazungu for good measure!
Apparently David is only the third prince to wed at the Catholic Rubaga (Lubaga) Cathedral. Unlike most of the Royal Family, David is Catholic (as his mother was). The Archbishop of Kampala, Dr Cyprian Lwanga, presided over the marriage ceremony, also attended by Ugandan Vice President Edward Ssekandi. Bishop Livingstone Mpalanyi Nkoyoyo, the retired Archbishop of the Church of Uganda, offered some words of wisdom to the newlyweds. No idea what he said – but his words seemed to go down well!
And we were well behaved (or did I leave too early?)
Wikipedia also states “Local media claims Wasajja to be one of the eccentric “Hash Harriers”, a group of Kampala socialites.”
So, thinking I’m doing them a favour, I offer three Hash friends a lift to the reception in my (admittedly TINY) Mini Pajero. The seats in the back are great – if you’re a short-legged kid!
“You should at least think of your passengers before offering them a lift” one of them complained seriously, his long legs up around his ears as we bumped downhill on the shortcut past the Kabaka’s Lake. I had to laugh.
And then we hit traffic. “Just drive to the front!” they shouted! “We’re VIP.”
I hesitated – were we really? As the only Muzungu for miles, I really didn’t want myself to stand out even more than I did already. I was happy to wait in line if everyone else had to.
“No, go on,” they urged. “We have a VIP sticker” – and indeed we do, I still haven’t removed it from the windscreen 😉
So I overtook everyone, drove right to the front of the queue, and without hesitation a traffic policeman yelled in my face “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE?”
Oh.
Before I could think what to say, all three friends screamed back, “How dare you talk to her like that! DON’T YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS?”
… And we were inside the Lubiri!
The Will Smith-lookalike bodyguard pushed me in front of the bride to get a better shot “yes, use your zoom lens!” he ordered. I tried my best to record this piece of Buganda Kingdom history
Princess-to-be Marion really seemed to struggle up the steps to the Cathedral. She kept her poise but the dress seemed very heavy – especially when people kept treading on it!
The speeches, oh the speeches… in Luganda… for three and a half hours… Friends told me it would be ok to take a book along to keep myself occupied during the speeches, but it didn’t feel quite right. Instead I fiddled with my camera. Everyone assumed the Muzungu was a journalist I think (no complaints from me!)
There were some real characters at the Royal Wedding! Part 2… obviously a diehard Baganda… (happy to ask me for money though, even at a Royal Wedding!)
There were some real characters at the Royal Wedding! Part 3: “what’s the (homemade) uniform about?” I asked. “We love UGANDA!” they replied, grinning.
MINISKIRT ALERT! (See the Facebook photo album). This lady obviously didn’t read the newspapers banning miniskirts from the wedding. But how did she get in? (I suspect she arrived in a traditional, long flowing Basuti and removed it once she’d got through security, but that’s only a guess!) She looked a lot more presentable than the woman who came dressed as a butterfly, complete with huge stick-on wings!
The day was full of music: Catholic choral music, traditional Buganda songs, the Uganda national anthem, some serious drumming from the Zulu contingent, some Lingala from a funky Congolese band, top Ugandan artists including Radio and Weazel, Juliana Kanyomozi, Dr Hilderman, the obligatory Jose Chameleone, Bobi Wine and Ragga D.
During his speech, the 47 year old prince explained why he had taken his time to marry. According to the Monitor newspaper, this “for understandable reasons had a few people genuinely worried.”
Come on, if you were a good-looking Prince, would you give up the single life to rush into marriage?
“I do not rush into doing things,” he explained during his speech. Indeed!
In Britain, when someone is frequently late, we say “he’ll be late for his own funeral”- at least the Prince wasn’t late for his own wedding…
“Slowly by slowly…” I say… mpola … mpola… isn’t that the way things are done around here?
I chuckled to read “His youthfulness, which many of Kampala’s nightlife have known, will probably take the attention away from the very-hard-to-ignore age difference between the prince and his wife.”
Ah well, we Hashers are well-known for being young at heart.
Note from the Muzungu: between (unintentionally!) drenching my laptop with tea, a house move and meeting client deadlines, the Royal Wedding has hardly had the full Diary of a Muzungu treatment yet – but it was a fascinating day in Buganda Kingdom history from start to finish. Here are a few of my favourite photos and video clips (er…ok one) to give you a feel for the festivities. Click here to see the full photo album on the Diary of a Muzungu Facebook page – read the article alongside the photos 🙂
CONGS! Prince David Wasajja and Princess Marion.
Note no. 2 from the Muzungu: I’ve been working on this blog for weeks but technical problems (my laptop, my dongle, the internet, the blog itself) have frustrated me constantly. Do please check out the Royal Wedding photo album on the Diary of a Muzungu Facebook page – and if you know a Kampala-based web designer looking for an internship, ask them to get in touch! I’m not a quitter but sometimes I wonder whether I should be!
“No hurry in Africa” – journey by bus from Kampala to Kigali
No hurry in Africa: on board the bus Kampala to Kigali
I didn’t understand much but the salesman’s words “Tsunami in the vagina” and aggressive pelvic thrusting into the bus seat next to him somehow caught my attention.
This guy should have been on the stage: the traveling salesman who literally travels as he travels, walking up and down the aisle of the bus from Kampala to Kigali, working the crowd, proffering samples and chucking out sweets to an enrapt audience of hecklers. How I wished I understood Luganda at that moment!
I remember him on my previous bus from Kampala to Kigali (en route to Kinigi, home of Rwanda’s mountain gorillas): the man who insisted we keep the bus windows open all night – and later proceeded to sell us cold remedies! [Note dear reader: this time he was promoting Chinese Royal Jelly – though I can’t confirm its libido effects!]
Just don’t sit on the back seat! Bus from Kampala to Kigali. Jaguar Executive Coaches
Blink or you’ll miss it…. without warning, the bus pulls over for a rare and impromptu stop for a ‘short call’. I choose my bush carefully. As I get comfy, a girl appears to sit down 10 feet away from me. So much for privacy. There’s a bump, bump, bump to my left as a man pedals downhill towards us, empty green jerry cans banging his bicycle seat as he passes over the bumpy path. (Did I say something about privacy?)
Show over, we return to the bus, and a pair of crutches emerges from the bushes, followed by a young girl. I’ll come to see a lot of people on crutches over my next few days in Rwanda and Burundi. I wonder at their stories, but daren’t ask.
A vicar in a pale blue shirt climbs on the bus, surrounded by men brandishing sticks of greasy meat ‘muchomo.’
“They wanted to drive without you” the girl next to me says as I squeeze myself back into my seat. (I’m sure the legroom has shrunk while I was behind that bush).
Back on the bus from Kampala to Kigali, Rwanda’s capital, we wind through the lush green hills and villages up to the border. I gaze out of the window. Matooke, matooke, matooke, as far as the eye can see. A young child in pink gum boots plays with a long stick in the mud. Two women walk across a field, bundles of babies tied around their middles, little feet sticking out either side of their waist. Too cute!
We slow to negotiate the slippery marram dirt roads and here – in the middle of nowhere and then a bit – a traffic jam! Bored, I jump out of the bus to stretch my legs, not realising the disaster that lies ahead of us. I march down towards the crowd by the river and 200 people turn around to me. I approach, camera in hand.
200 people turn to stare at the Muzungu. I will never be embarrassed at people staring at me again
“Are you the photographer?” everyone asks as the Muzungu surveys the scene: a flooded river and an overturned truck, blocking the road to Rwanda. International Super Highway? Judge for yourself.
The main road between Uganda and Rwanda was blocked by an overturned truck. It had attempted to drive across a flooded bridge
An employment opportunity presents itself: “Muzungu, I carry you for 1000 shillings!”
No mate, you have to pay ME for that particular public humiliation. (The thought of all those people laughing at the Muzungu being carried across the river, I don’t think so!) Oh what a spoilsport the Muzungu is, denying the villagers a good laugh…
They want me to believe how easy it will be to get a boda boda to the border a few kilometres away then jump on another bus at the border. I’m not rushing; I’m here to watch how this one unfolds.
We hang around eating huge chunks of fresh jackfruit (only 200 shillings in this part of the world!) as men unload the useless sodden bags of cement from the overturned lorry. “At least they can’t steal it!” Someone says.
I prepare for a night on the bus. Many people have abandoned ship and opted for the 1000 shilling piggyback ride but I stretch out on three seats. I’ve had three hours sleep the night before, sharing a single bed with a visiting onion farmer, and now it’s time for a zizz (sleep). Who cares if we’ll be eaten alive overnight by mosquitoes if we stay here next to the swamp? For now I’m in luxury!
No hurry in Africa… killing time before we get back on the bus from Kampala to Kigali
To lose three hours in Africa is nothing, and I’m surprised (disappointed?) when from my slumber I hear a huge cheer as the lorry is winched back upright.
Time to move.
As we approach the border, a few minutes later, a man next to me opens a photo album of identity cards and ponders: “Tonight Matthew I’m going to be…” (a joke for the Brits, sorry…)
A man in an ill-fitting suit carries just one possession, his Kinyarwanda English dictionary.
At immigration, I ingratiate myself with every staff member, regardless of their nationality, in the hope they’ll remember my smiling Muzungu face upon my return.
I panic when I hear the revving of a bus engine. Perhaps the bus driver really does mean to leave me behind this time? And I recognise our luggage, strewn under a tree, bags being searched – not for bombs – but for cavera (plastic bags), illegal in Rwanda. I’m very nicely ordered to jettison mine, ready for the next adventure: Rwanda!
For more dramatic photos of the scene that greeted us, see the Diary of a Muzungu Facebook album.
Here are a few of my travel tips for bus travel from Kampala to Kigali:
- – I don’t trust the driving skills of a man who puts all his faith in God, sorry. ‘Inshallah’ written in huge letters on the front window just doesn’t cut it with me. Check out the driver before you get into any vehicle. If he stinks of booze, get out!
- – Use Jaguar Executive Coaches, they have a good reputation. The bus from Kampala to Kigali is just 40,000 Uganda shillings (£10 / $15). Buy the day before or just before departure. Early booking means you can choose your seat (recommended!) Call +256 (0)414 251855 or (0)782 811 128 for information. Visit Jaguar Executive Coach’s Facebook page for directions to their coach park in Namirembe Road, Rubaga, Kampala.
- – On my return bus trip from Kigali to Kampala, I used Baby Coach, and even paid the same price paid, in Uganda shillings (ask to be taken to the little office in the back streets of Nyabugogo bus park, Kigali).
- – Where to sit in the bus: don’t even think of sitting over the back wheels. The Muzungu has endured this experience so you don’t have to! Read ‘Kampala to Nairobi by bus: 14 hours of speed humps’ for the reasons why.
- – Does the bus have curtains? If not, you might want to sit on the side away from the sun or you’ll get burned, or at least uncomfortably hot.
- – Always take mosquito repellent – you never know when you might need it.
- – Always bring more water than you need – you never know where you’re going to end up!
- – Bring water but try not to drink it! Drink maximum one small bottle I’d say. Apart from the unplanned stop and the border, we only stopped very briefly twice in eight plus hours of travel.
- – Bring that horrible disinfectant hand gel stuff. If you’re lucky enough to find any real toilets en route, they are grim / have no running water.
- – Take ear plugs and/or music. You might enjoy the person behind you singing loudly to their radio? I don’t.
For more of the Muzungu moaning about fellow travelers, read A short-tempered muzungu flies to Istanbul
Do you have any bus travel tips to share? I’d love to hear them!
Bang! goes my day
Woke in the night to a BANG – pop, pop, pop, pop, pop
The outside lights flickered off, on, off, on ….. off.
Heavy rain had preceded this latest electrical burnout, apparently the fault of our neighbour who is tapping directly into the overhead power cable.
Great, how many days before we get power back?
I really don’t need it.
Today I should be working hard. Instead the house girl is off sick with Malaria. Being without power means I’m having to light the charcoal stove to boil drinking water. But at least the Muzungu can light it now – thanks to Simpson’s charcoal-stove-lighting-lessons!
Everything just slows right down to local speed and I have no control over it.
Life in Uganda….
So today there is no power, no car and – for an hour or so – no drinking water.
I’m completely skint and I have to work out what my work priorities are to get them done in one and a half hours of laptop battery time.
I’m stuck in the house now until the mechanic arrives.
“Another day in paradise.”
The changing face of Kampala slums
I love Namuwongo, it’s where I first fell in love with Uganda but I’m sure many Ugandans would shudder hearing that. Like many other Kampala slums, Namuwongo slums have a history: they were a no-go area for many years. It’s no des res (desirable residential) address, that’s for sure, but things are changing.
Slum children are frequently ill and are forced to live and play in terrible conditions. PHOTO Hope for Children
Clinging to the railway that connects Port Bell on Lake Victoria and the city of Kampala, are Namuwongo’s slums – or ‘high density housing’ to give them their posh term.
The Nakivubo Channel discharges large volumes of water into the slum, a combination of industrial waste and the run-off water from the high lying areas of Kampala, contaminating water in the wells and springs on which 30 to 40,000 slum-dwellers depend. Houses on the lower section of the slum are frequently flooded, homes and possessions destroyed by water, rubbish and human waste, spreading disease and unimaginable misery. Situated on and next to the mosquito-infested swamp, life in the slum presents a constantly high risk of malaria.
The majority of the slum’s population come from the war-torn zones of Northern Uganda, Congo and Rwanda. Others have migrated from Kenya using the railway line. There is a high birth rate.
Namuwongo slums are in Bukasa, Makindye Division, one of Kampala’s five major divisions. International Hospital Kampala and IHSU International Health Sciences University are just 1 km from the slum. In 2012 IHSU researched the health of the slum’s population, interviewing over 800 local residents, resulting in some major changes…
A typical scene along the railway through Namuwongo slums, Kampala
No one would choose to live in Kampala’s slums … or would they? The fact is that more than half the surveyed reported Namuwongo’s slums to be better than where they had lived before.
BLOODY HELL.
Hand sorting through the ten thousand tons of rubbish in the hope of finding something to sell. PHOTO Hope for Children
I try and imagine what life is like ‘down’ – down in the Kampala slums.
You know how debilitating an upset stomach can be? Imagine you have lots of kids who have nowhere else to play but in a sewage-infested area. Think of all the germs they bring home. Imagine how often they’re ill…
The thing is, only 10% of Namuwongo’s slum households have toilets and the average cost to use the public latrine is 200 shillings per visit.
But let’s do the maths: nearly 40% of respondents have a monthly income of just 2,500 shillings – less than a dollar. That’s not a dollar a day, but A DOLLAR A MONTH. (Incidentally, 98% of those were women). 65% of respondents have less than 100,000 shillings (35 USD) per month and 88% have less than 250,000 (95 USD) per month.
So how do you pay for all these toilet visits, especially if a member of your family is sick? Well the answer is you can’t. You go behind a bush or you improvise: wrapping your waste in a cavera (plastic bag) to make a ‘flying toilet.’
Bye bye flying toilets!
When toilets are free, people will use them, meaning a cleaner environment, less spread of disease and a healthier, happier population. Six blocks of latrines are being built, free for the local community to use.
This is being provided by Hope for Children, a UK charity that works with street children in Kampala, through their project Events for Namuwongo. Additional infrastructure is being constructed for waste management, recycling and very cheap clean water, all under the one Public Private Partnership Agreement, a project in partnership with KCCA and the Makindye Mayor’s office.
Clearing rubbish in Namuwongo, Kampala slums. PHOTO Hope for Children
Moving a mountain
A ten thousand ton waste mountain was cleared from this Kampala slum last year. Makindye Division Mayor and fellow Hash House Harrier Dr Ian Clarke mobilised KCCA to provide the diggers and Rift Valley Railways transported it for free.
Since then, concrete drainage systems have been built, substantially lessening the chance of homes flooding. The creation of free rubbish dumps and recycling facilities – and stopping people from dumping rubbish in the drainage ditches – has improved the situation immeasurably.
Hope for Children have employed hundreds of people from the local community to help clean up Namuwongo slums, Kampala. PHOTO Hope for Children
Local boy looks on as the Rift Valley Railways train is loaded with rubbish. It took several week-ends to clear the 10,000 tons of rubbish from Namuwongo slums, Kampala. PHOTO Hope for Children
Rift Valley Railways have also contributed 50 metres of land either side of track for the development of this project.
You can lead a horse to water…
Most residents collect water from a communal tap or a protected spring. 80% of people boiled water before drinking it but children are at risk of Cholera and Typhoid, often drinking unboiled water from the tap or Jerry can.
Work underway to first clear the rubbish and then dig foundations for the new concrete drainage ditches or ‘drainages’ in Namuwongo, Kampala slums. PHOTO Hope for Children
National Water are putting in a new ‘loop’ of piping which will create more water points throughout the slums and provide water for the new latrines. Twenty litres of water will cost just 22 Ugandan shillings, as opposed to the current 100 shillings ( 3 US cents) and it will be accessible via a token system and paid for by Mobile Money. (Poor people’s access to mobile phone technology in Uganda still amazes me – I bet you can’t pay for your water by SMS in the UK yet!) This heavily subsidised ‘pro poor water supply’ has already been successfully piloted in the Kampala slums of Bwaise and Gisenyi.
Keeping up the good work
This project will continue to employ hundreds of local people: community sensitisation teams that encourage people to make use of the new rubbish and recycling facilities and who offer information on family planning and HIV counselling; the de-silting team that unblock the drains of rubbish and tons of marram road run-off and dirt washed downhill every time it rains. KCCA will take on some of the project maintenance, including emptying of latrine septic tanks.
Free of waste, the new concrete drainages allow rainwater to pass through the slums without flooding homes. PHOTO Hope for Children
People seem happier
Hope for Children report that there’s been a very positive community response to the improvements so far – and it’s still early days.
“People seem a bit happier down there” says Thomas… “they are seeing the benefit of the work and are becoming more proactive, caring for the environment around them.”
With the majority of the work still under construction, the real positive impacts remain to be seen – but promise to be life-changing for thousands of people.
Meet my mad friend Robert!
If you’d like to support the work of Hope for Children, my friend Robert would love you to support him and this BONKERS proposal to run the Marathon Des Sables (MdS), the world’s toughest footrace: a 6 day, 156 mile run through the Moroccan Sahara Desert that’s taking place this April.
Robert is putting himself through HELL to run in 50 degree temperatures for SIX DAYS in the cross Sahara Marathon des Sables. Let’s help him get through it! for Hope for Children and their Namuwongo Kampala slums project
Robert writes:
“I have been silly enough to sign up for the Marathon des Sables one last time in order to raise funds for a project that HOPE for Children support in Uganda. I took part in this event three years ago and the side effects included the inability to walk for two weeks afterwards and the loss of several body parts.
We will be running in temperatures hovering at around 50 degrees centigrade, across sand dunes that tower several hundred metres high, stretching for 10-15 miles and made of sand so soft you sink up to your knee. No good for sandcastles and even less fun to run over.
If you could help me support these kids, I’d be immensely grateful. The pain I will undoubtedly go through will not be anything compared to the suffering these kids have been through and continue to go through every day.”
You can help Robert conquer those sand dunes and support Hope for Children’s life-changing work by donating here
Thank you – and we’re sure all the children from Namuwongo are with us rooting for you Robert!
Where’s my wall gone? Uganda’s weather gets the better of us
Rain… rain… rain… Uganda’s weather is disorganising me!
This whopping pothole in Kampala’s Industrial Area has been filled in but most reappear. Terrific rains and poor drainage combine for maximum destructive effect.
Rain stopped work.
Rain stopped play.
Rain stopped John our askari going home – until two hours before he was due back here for the night shift.
Nora sweeps flooded kitchen. sigiri on floor
Rain meant that seven people were cooped up in our little house (my office!) while I’d planned to catch up the backlog of work…
It certainly rained on someone’s parade: the National Resistance Movement’s public holiday parade to be exact – and it was soggy public holiday weather in Uganda for the rest of Kampala’s population.
Simpson surfaced at midday, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after a mega lie-in. I scowled at his good humour. I’d got up early to work – and my plans had been scuppered by the weather.
It was 3 pm by the time everyone left the house, my work day obliterated.
What makes it worse is having to look at the destruction in the compound from last week’s hailstorm.
Simpson surveys the damage after the hailstorm. The top third of the compound wall sliced off. The storm was so loud I didn’t even hear the wall crashing down!
I thought the roof was going to come off our house – the rusty iron sheets certainly flew off the house opposite!
The landlady started yelling at me when she saw the wall, insisting that I was going to finance the whole thing.
“No way!” The muzungu shouted back at her. She’d intimidated me once, but not this time.
Yes, I may have let the Bougainvillea grow too big but it breaks my heart to cut the flowers off in their prime, deprive the birds of their roost and expose our compound to passing strangers. (Ugandans tend to hack plants back to an ugly bare stick!) The bush was huge before we arrived, otherwise the rock hard, sun-baked branches intertwined amongst the railings would not have wrenched the railings out of what a friend called the *fake wall. The railings were secured to brick posts by a mere 5 cm of cement. Ascari John knocked the mortar off the old bricks with a stick – so it was hardly built to last!
The wind and rain entered the house horizontally through the mosquito mesh covering the ventilation bricks above the windows. A fine brown water spray covered every surface in every room; even the laptop came out of the affair muddy!
The noise from the hailstorm was so loud we didn’t even hear the wall come down.
“The fence got knocked down” said Jemima. Fence? What fence? I wondered. I tried to picture a bamboo or iron sheet fence near our house but couldn’t.
And then I opened the front door onto what looked like a bombsite!
Uganda’s weather continues to amaze me.
Baldrick enjoys sniffing through the debris of our compound wall. Sadly a bird was catapulted out of its nest. Dawn chorus seems quieter too!
Top Dog Baldrick has come into his own and is finally earning his keep! He seems to be enjoying barking at every passing person peering into our newly exposed compound.
Percy the rescue puppy checks out the damage to our compound wall
I need to destress. The live-work situation in Namuwongo was often stressful. When you work in an office, you can leave your stresses behind at the end of the day. When you work from home, it’s not always that easy.
This is my choice though, I must remember. Or as a friend once said be careful what you wish for!
*The friend appears to be as fake as the wall… another chapter for the book?
So how do you find the weather in Uganda? I love its dramatic twists and turns – but how much has this month’s weather cost you?
Diary of a Muzungu’s travel highlights – across Uganda and Kenya
The Muzungu’s travel highlights of 2012 – Kibale Forest, Queen Elizabeth National Park, Murchison Falls, community tourism in Mabira Forest, Lonely Planet, Nairobi – and two Royal Weddings!
Life in Uganda has tested me in many ways and 2012 was ‘challenging’ as we say around here – but I’m still here ‘living the dream’ (on a good day!)
The year ended on a real high, literally – waking up on Christmas Day in a treehouse overlooking Kibale Forest to the sound of chimpanzees and forest birds.
We had a feast! – with “all the trimmings” of a British Christmas dinner, including bread sauce, crackers, naff jokes, silly hats and Christmas stockings, all imported specially for the occasion.
A Kibale Forest special! The metal trunk oven worked a treat. We even had roast potatoes. Bahati cooks Christmas dinner for 12
Kibale Forest to Queen Elizabeth National Park
After Christmas we put the Baby Car (a.k.a. Mimi) through her paces. Our party of twelve people went on a 4 wheel driving adventure along the muddy marram tracks across heavenly crater lake country, en route to Queen Elizabeth National Park for a couple of days Safari, a luxury overnight in Volcanoes’ Kyambura Lodge and the most brilliant water safari and birdwatching day out on a boat trip on the Kazinga Channel. Simpson saw his first hippos and crocodiles! – I adore the waterways’ incredible birdlife (TWITCH!)
family pose, Queen Elizabeth Equator, Uganda
It’s almost a year since my last trip for our epic bird-ringing week-end at Julia’s amazing home in Kibale Forest – maybe that’s where I’ll write my book? Chimp alert! or muzungu bolthole?
From there Julia and I travelled to the wide open savannah of Ishasha where we’d jumped in an elephant trench and had a go at maintaining the matooke (banana) plantation – all in a day’s work for the Bazungu!
Why I love elephant dung! tells the story.
Back in Kampala, my photographer friend Javi and I rocked up to State House, the President’s office. Javi asked me to collaborate with him on a book about Uganda and we have the makings of a great project – we just need someone to pay for it! And so we spent Valentine’s Day sweltering on the veranda as our 10 a.m. meeting got put back and back and back. By 4 p.m. we finally had our slot with one of the President’s Permanent Secretaries, a charming lady called Grace: but alas the answer was NO.
We didn’t get to meet The Man With The Hat (The Big Man) either. Boo, hoo Valentine’s Day, no red rose, no book deal, not nuffink.
I love seeing everyone’s favourite Uganda memories – this one went back to Scotland with fellow VSO volunteers Stuart and Elisabeth
September saw the launch of the Uganda photo souvenir map Facebook page. The Uganda map is designed by Andrew Roberts, a UCF Director and co-editor of the Bradt travel guide. Special thanks to ‘Chimp Girl’ Julia Lloyd and Harriet ‘Ebola’ Fowler for commissioning photo maps and for all your support! Each montage is individually created with your photos and 10% of sales go to the Uganda Conservation Foundation to help fight poaching in the National Parks – now at its worst level in decades.
Poaching is fuelled mostly by the growth of the Chinese middle classes and facilitated by China’s growing networks and investments in East Africa. Check out my friend Anne-Marie’s brilliant article about poaching in Uganda, entitled There is a lot of it about.
In October, I was delighted to welcome fellow Lonely Planet* blogger, Isabel Romano, on her first trip to Africa. After a visit to Ggaba market on Lake Victoria and a relaxing lunch at Cassia Lodge taking in the view, Ronald and I introduced her to a very different view of Kampala: a visit to Namuwongo slum.
Ugandan kids have the best smiles! Thanks to Isabel Romano of www.diariodeabordo.com for this fabulous photo
To find out more about some of the excellent development work in Namuwongo slums, check out Events for Namuwongo on Facebook.
My friend Ronald is a professional dog trainer based in Kampala. I love my walks with him and De Boys – Baldrick and Percy!
The best friend a girl could have: the Dog with the Waggiest Tail. Coming to Uganda gave me the chance to have my first dog, Baldrick, my parter in crime in many of my blog stories. Here are some of my favourite moments.
Namuwongo is dear to my heart – the first place I lived in Uganda.
Murchison Falls National Park
I celebrated my birthday with Red Chilli’s at their camp in Murchison Falls National Park, where we partied all week-end to celebrate the camp’s tenth birthday. A percentage of all the camp’s profits go to support the Steve Willis Memorial Fund.
Anne-Marie and I should have known better: as we entered the Park, we opened the car doors in exactly the wrong spot letting vicious biting Tsetse flies loose in the car. We spent the weekend itching, scratching and regretting it!
You can’t help but fall in love with the Rothschild’s Giraffes in Murchison Falls National Park
Queen Elizabeth National Park
Tembo Canteen on Mweya Peninsula in Queen Elizabeth is possibly the best location in the world to endure three days of PowerPoint presentations, with Mike Cant’s talk about mongooses being the highlight. Kabina squashed on a hard wooden benche, I loved reconnecting with my conservation friends for UWA’s research symposium: Dianah, Phionah and Richard from NatureUganda, Aggie and Dr Margaret from UWA, Gladys of Conservation Through Public Health, Alex, Erik and Emmanuel from UCF, Alastair and Andy from Wildlife Conservation Society. Poaching, invasive species, climate change and human wildlife conflict are just some of the big issues UWA is challenged with.
The weekend finished with a boat trip on the Kazinga Channel. The eager eyes of a warden even spotted a leopard, a distant dot high up on the hillside! We certainly didn’t expect to see a leopard in broad daylight from the boat, but that’s the wonderful thing about going on Safari – every outing is different.
Birds and bird watching in Uganda
By the way, if you like birds you might enjoy some of the muzungu’s Uganda birding stories, now grouped on one handy page inspired by attending the UK Bird Fair and hanging out with expert birders Roger, Malcolm, David Lindo ‘the Urban Birder’ and Aussie Chris Watson.
African Fish Eagles on the Kazinga Channel, Queen Elizabeth National Park
The best community tourism projects in Uganda are promoted by UCOTA
The UCOTA community tourism fam trip was another highlight. We had a lot of fun, as you will read in – Can you play the Xylophone? – and got to meet the real people living on the edges of Queen Elizabeth National Park. Theirs is not an easy life.
Honey never tasted so good!
A wave of patriotism flooded Uganda in 2012 as the country celebrated 50 years of independence. Needless to say it also brought up a lot of discontent, mostly aimed at the current regime’s 26 years in power. My contribution to the party? 50 reasons why I love Uganda – my most popular blog ever.
A moment of feeling homesick…
I felt a twinge of homesickness as I thought of all my friends and family celebrating the Queen’s Golden Jubilee and the London Olympics. British expat friends dressed in the red, white and blue of the Union Jack and gathered round a TV set in Kololo to watch the celebrations along the Thames.
Cha, Amy and Jennie. Diamond Jubilee Kampala
I was glad to be able to get a glimpse of London Bridge on TV. I felt quite homesick for a moment! Diamond Jubilee 2012
Uganda was delighted to welcome home the Marathon gold Olympic medallist Kipsoro. It seemed to be a typical Ugandan achievement – mpole, mpole ‘slowly by slowly’ – wait until the very last event to win a medal…! Ugandans are rightly proud of this homegrown talent, who actually trained in next door Kenya.
A wave of patriotism swept across Uganda in 2012. Boda boda photo courtesy of journalist photographer Amy Fallon http://www.amyfallon.com/
Running across East Africa, with the Hash House Harriers – and a Royal Wedding
I know a lot of talented runners. Kampala’s Seven Hills race (or does Kampala have 22 hills now?) certainly keeps us fit! At 1000 metres above sea level, rumour has it that if we train here in Kampala, we return to the lower lands of Europe with more stamina. (I certainly huffed and puffed my way up Tank Hill in Muyenga, Kampala for a few months before I acclimatised to the increase in altitude).
An invitation from the Buganda Kingdom
Regular Diary of a Muzungu blog readers will know of my Monday evening antics with the Kampala Hash House Harriers, that have taken me to all corners of Kampala, Jinja, Nairobi and even Ethiopia. I felt a million Muganda ladies sigh (and maybe a couple of Muzungu ones too) as the Buganda Kingdom announced the engagement of our friend Prince David Wassaja. We wish you all de best Federo! The Muzungu was honoured to be invited to the Buganda Royal Wedding.
De Prince tries to keep a low profile as he passes villagers on the annual Kampala Jinja relay
I was honoured to attend the wedding of Prince Wasajja at the Lubiri in Mengo
Northern Uganda comes to Kampala
In April we welcomed back the sometimes controversial comedienne Jane Bussman to Kampala for another run of her award-winning show, entitled “The worst date ever – or how it took a comedy writer to expose Africa’s secret war.” It was a sell-out night in Kampala. All proceeds from Jane’s show went to complete construction of a house for ex-LRA child soldiers in Northern Uganda.
Meeting new tribes in Nairobi, Kenya
The Muzungu and new friends from Turkana and Pokot tribes, Kenya. The tourism show at Nairobi’s Sarit Centre whet my appetite for more East African travel
Check out the Muzungu with my new friends – the guy looks very cute! Kenya is only a bus ride away and I need to explore the country further!
The two are not connected 😉
We stopped for a spot of shopping – in the middle of the sugarcane plantation, Mabira, Jinja
Griffin Falls Ecocamp, Mabira Forest, Jinja
Set in the heart of Mabira Forest, Griffin Falls campsite is a charming little hideaway.
Enkima red-tailed monkey mural, one of many on display at Griffin Falls Camp, Mabira
The banda accommodation and food are basic and cheap; if you’re happy with cold bucket showers and a kerosene lamp, you’ll love this place. Isla and I hired bikes for a guided tour of the Forest and the Falls and I even saw my first Grey Cheeked Mangabey! Hussein and Peter (tel +256(0)751949368 / +256(0)751955671) are very friendly and knowledgeable about the forest’s birds and trees, under threat from so-called developers. The campsite is a real gem.
PHEW! Well I’ve worn myself out just reliving all of that lot…! Time for a lie-down now…
So what does the New Year hold for the Muzungu?
2013 is my year – and hopefully Uganda’s too, after National Geographic voted Uganda one of the top 20 places to visit in 2013.
*Sadly, after four years, Lonely Planet has dropped its links with Diary of a Muzungu and the 100s of other travel bloggers featured on its web site, after Lonely Planet was sold to the BBC. Farewell #lp we’ve had a good run. We in Uganda loved being Lonely Planet’s no. 1 destination to visit in 2012 and working with Lonely Planet bloggers to create a free downloadable book of photography was a personal highlight.
Moving house Ugandan style. PHOTO Mark Thriscutt
Diary of a Muzungu now accepts guest posts so if you have a story you want to share with the world, please get in touch! Thanks to my first guest blogger Mark Penhallow for a hilarious blog about Driving in Kampala
If you haven’t visited Uganda yet, feel free to explore my blog or drop the Muzungu an email for more Uganda and East Africa travel ideas. Wishing you an adventure-filled New Year!
Wake up and smell the coffee, Rift Valley style
Kyambura Gorge Lodge, Queen Elizabeth National Park, Uganda
Day breaks over the Rift Valley and my early morning coffee has arrived, a wake-up call for my morning safari game drive in Queen Elizabeth.
“Game drive or lie-in? Game drive or lie-in?” I ponder. Hmmm…
Too many decisions, too early in the morning. I lie there in the huge double bed, the smell of the wonderfully aromatic Omwani coffee filling the room. My friends depart for the game drive and I decide I’ll opt for the birding walk along the top of Kyambura Gorge – and drift back to sleep.
Everyone clambers onto Julia’s new Safari roof rack to watch a lion feeding on a freshly killed Kob on Kasenyi Plain. Safari game drive from Kyambura Gorge Lodge , overlooking Queen Elizabeth National Park, Uganda
So far our Safari has taken us north from Kampala for a few days stay in Kibale Forest. From there we drive the magical back route, through the crater lakes and on down south, descending across the Savannah floor of the Rift Valley and into central Queen Elizabeth National Park.
After a few days sleeping in a cold treehouse with no electricity and no phone network, we’re looking forward to a couple of days of luxury. I briefly looked around Kyambura Gorge Lodge while passing on a previous trip and couldn’t believe my luck that I am about to spend a couple of days there with my group of 11 friends. We pass the journey pondering what to try out first: a massage or dip in the pool? Will we have time to visit all the community projects? Will we see elephants from the lodge?
As we navigate around the potholes on the low-lying roads crossing the Rift Valley, I point across to Kyambura Gorge, site of the chimp trekking. I wonder if the baboons will be waiting for us at the bottom of the hill?
The Lodge is perched high up on Kyambura Gorge, 1050 metres above sea level, with a 180° view across the Rift Valley with the Rwenzori Mountains in the far distance. On a clear day you can see across to the Blue Mountains of the Congo. Kyambura Gorge Lodge sits just outside Queen Elizabeth National Park, Uganda’s most popular park.
And so we arrive en masse: two very dirty vehicles chockablock full of tired and dusty travellers, a hungry toddler and assorted baggage. What a lovely welcome from the Kyambura Gorge Lodge staff! Even before we’ve reached our rooms, we feel at home. After a glass of fresh juice, the staff pick up our bags and we are quickly settled – even though we are a big group.
The view in every direction is breathtaking. The clever positioning of a telescope in the breakfast area immediately grabs this twitcher’s eye.
Is this the best pool in Uganda? Kyambura Gorge Lodge
The layout and decor are quite unlike any other lodge in Uganda. Many lodges tend to adapt the same style but Kyambura Gorge Lodge is in a league of its own. Each banda has its own colour scheme and ours was a mixture of blues. I loved the recycled MTN kiosk bedside cabinet! We stayed in Lumumba, so named after one of the Gorge’s chimps.
Each Banda is cleverly divided into sections to suit your every mood: a huge window seat cum day bed, a veranda with a wicker hanging basket chair – and a bed which is HUGE by any standards. I vote this possibly the most comfortable bed in Uganda.
To me there is nothing worse than going to a beautiful lodge in a natural setting and finding a load of Chinese-made plastic fittings in the bathroom. This couldn’t be further from the case at Kyambura Gorge, where there’s attention to detail in every aspect.
The fabulous converted Coffee House is the centrepiece at Volcanoes Safaris’ Kyambura Gorge Lodge overlooking Queen Elizabeth National Park
The refurbished coffeehouse is a fantastic living space. The eclectic décor provides something interesting for the eye, everywhere you look. The upholstered furniture in bold African prints lends a nice twist to European style furniture.
Even the ceiling is funky! The attention to every detail is second to none at the converted Coffee House main living area at Volcanoes Safaris’ Kyambura Gorge Lodge
Activities from Kyambura Gorge Lodge
Despite its remote-seeming location, there’s a whole list of activities to choose from!
- Game drives
- Afternoon boat trip on the Kazinga Channel at Mweya: elephant, hippo, Buffalo and many of the park’s 600 bird species
- Chimp tracking. Kyambura Gorge is home to “a family of 27 chimpanzees who live in a magical sunken forest with a unique eco-system, along with many species of primates and birds, leopards, hippos and elephants.”
- In 2019 a short private walk will connect the lodge directly to Kyambura Gorge to track ‘the lost chimps.’
- Wildlife Gorge Walk, around the rim of the gorge, accompanied by one of the lodge’s trained staff. We saw lots of birds and Black and White Colobus Monkeys. You might see a chimp!
- Community Coffee Tour. The Kyambura Women’s Coffee Cooperative, developed by the Volcanoes Safaris Partnership Trust gives local women a much-needed source of income.
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Omwani Coffee Processing Tour is organised by the Volcanoes Safaris Partnership Trust
Omwani coffee is served at Kyambura Gorge and Volcanoes’ other lodges in Uganda. It is also available as freshly made cappuccino at the Omwani Training Cafe, along with delicious home-made snacks, pizzas and rolex. This great little cafe offers training and job opportunities to local disadvantage young people. The cafe is open to everyone who passes through Kyambura. There is even a small campsite which is popular with Peace Corps volunteers and others. You can also buy Omwani Coffee to take home. The Omwani project has featured in Uganda’s Monitor newspaper.
- Search for the Tree Climbing Lions in Ishasha
- Track Mongooses on Mweya with the Uganda Wildlife Authority
- Birding in Kyambura Wetland, a habitat that is recovering well thanks to the work of the Volcanoes Safaris Partnership Trust
- The Omumashaka Drama group performs for guests at the lodge. The group puts on monthly performances of educational plays, songs and dances for the community
- Visit the bee-keeping project. At certain times of year, you can even suit up with our local beekeepers for this unique hands-on experience!
- The Blue Lake at Kalinzu
- UCOTA, the Uganda Community Tourism Association, helps develop and manage a series of community-led tourism projects across Uganda. One of my favourites in Queen Elizabeth is Katwe Salt Lake, situated past the Equator crossing.
- Chimp tracking can also be arranged in Kalinzu Forest.
- Did you know flamingos can be seen on one of the crater lakes in Kyambura Reserve at certain times of the year?
- The lodge is a good base for joining a lion tracking experience in Queen Elizabeth National Park.
We took turns to lie in the hammock and gaze out across the savannah and into Kyambura Gorge. The pool, massages and all your meals and alcoholic drinks (oh yes) are included in the cost of your room. This photo was taken in 2012. In 2019, the pool area and the pool itself was upgraded
There could be no better setting for a honeymoon. Note to self: look for a husband 😉
Spectacular views of sunsets and mountains, attentive but discreet service, a gentle welcoming smile, wonderful food, a real commitment to ecotourism and community development, a beckoning swimming pool, a bed I never wanted to leave and a whole range of activities on your doorstep, I can wholeheartedly recommend Kyambura Lodge.
The spacious bandas rooms are full of light with floor-to-ceiling glass along one side. The thick curtains should make sure you’re not woken up too early in the morning however.
I loved our banda bathroom. With its double basins and open plan design, it had a decadent feel to it, softened by the use of natural materials to give it an understated elegance. Standing under the hot, powerful shower I enjoyed the sweeping views out onto the Savannah. Oh why did I stay for just one night? I didn’t even try the outside shower!
The cone-shaped thatched roof of the converted coffee house, Kyambura Gorge Lodge. The planting of the lodge’s gardens complements the original decor throughout the lodge. It really is a special place.
At the breakfast table I’m joined by my excited friends. They’re all chatter and laughter after their game drive – and ravenous. We dive into a huge breakfast of fresh fruit, 100% organic Omwani coffee, locally produced honey (another Volcanoes Safaris Partnership Trust initiative), brown bread toast, a ‘full English’ cooked breakfast and pancakes.
They recount stories of the Lion with its adolescent cubs, a huge herd of Buffalo and a Hippo watching them all in the distance. Not bad for a morning’s work! I’ve been spoiled though: three years working for the Uganda Conservation Foundation have given me many days in the bush.
Beyond the gardens of Kyambura Gorge Lodge are the wetlands, previously used as an illegal brick works. The Volcanoes Safaris Partnership Trust has rehabilitated 30 acres of wetland. The area is now rapidly regenerating to its natural state.
If you want to stay in a real ecolodge, look no further than Kyambura Gorge Lodge. Ecotourism is a word that’s often used in Uganda but very few lodges or operators live up to the title. Volcanoes really deliver. Investments such as solar energy, rainwater harvesting, a salt water swimming pool and low Flushing eco-toilets are just some of the environmentally friendly lodge features. Active development of conservation and community projects are key to the company’s vision. As an active supporter of conservation and community development in Uganda, I was seriously impressed with what I saw and read.
DISCLOSURE: This blog is based on my personal experience. I was lucky enough to be given a free night’s stay in return for this blog post. For more information, read the Muzungu’s Terms and Conditions.
The Kingfisher and me
There’s something in the air tonight.
I love this time of day, walking with the dogs before the sun goes down.
A pair of African Grey parrots fly overhead, squawking all the way to their roost in the big tree behind us. The Hadada Ibis congregate on the highest roof, cackling as I approach with De Boys – Baldrick and Percy – who bounce through the long (tick-infested!) grass, delighted to be free from the compound.
There’s a disgusting smell – trust the dogs to find the rotting corpse of a dog, only recognisable by its canines. Looks like someone’s dumped it here, as it’s half concealed (I bet someone had a nasty shock when they opened that sack!)
As we walk across the football pitch someone shouts out “Muzungu! Can we eat your dog for our dinner?”
It’s OK, he’s just fooling around in front of his mates. I grin back at them.
As we turn the corner back to the house, a Woodland Kingfisher darts through the air, picking insects. How relieved am I to see him!*
Who needs an alarm clock in Africa? My love-hate relationship with the Woodland Kingfisher was put to the test recently
What appear to be flying ants and dragonflies whirl around in the evening’s pink sky. A Sooty Falcon flies overhead. A second one follows. I turn around 360 degrees, necked craned, and count seven of them!
(According to Stevenson & Fanshawe’s Birds of East Africa, this group of Sooty Falcons are migrating on their passage to South Africa for winter. They’re often associated with storm fronts and termite emergences. Another tick on my bird list!)
Sooty Falcons pass over Uganda, passing south for the winter. Photo courtesy of http://www.arkive.org
After this morning’s heavy rains – across Kampala, everyone was stuck indoors and hours late for work – the ground has been heating up all day. The baked murram is now steaming and, from barely visible slits in the dirt track, scores of ants bubble up from the ground beneath my feet.
The long lacy winged ants quickly flutter into action and spiral skyward like sycamore seeds. This unexpected spectacle makes me catch my breath. As dusk settles, they pour out of the earth, upwards and away, a non-stop chain of swirling activity.
Two Woodland Kingfishers rest on their electric perch above the blossoming Bougainvillea. (Simpson wants me to hack the bush back – now it’s looking beautiful!)
After a a few minutes the earth is still and the last ants float skywards to join the huge dragonflies, buzzing around above us. The sound of insects fills my ears as we make our way back home. Is this what it’s like to have tinnitus?
Back in the compound, as I tell what I’ve witnessed, Simpson asks “so did you eat them?” We talk about the enswa, the White Termites that the Muganda find so delicious! Brenda’s eyes light up when I tell her the termites were right outside our house. Oh me, oh my, next time we’re going out there with a blanket to cover the hole and we’ll beat the ground until we fill it!
Let’s hope enswa taste better than the muzungu’s first taste of grasshoppers (nsenene)
*Regular Diary of a Muzungu readers may remember my love-hate relationship with the Kingfisher that has been waking me up at 5.30 am PRECISELY every day for almost 4 years.
I frequently curse him but last week I thought I’d lost him – and I was worried.
With the rains, the occasional giant cockroach has been appearing in the house in the middle of the night. I’m not quite the coward I once was and occasionally I manage to deal with them on my own. (Makes me feel very grown up!)
Our friendship was sealed when I discovered my housemate Simpson’s not afraid of cockroaches! My hero!
One particular night I’d zapped one with Doom. It’s a poisonous spray and I only use it as a last resort: aim Doom at insect, close eyes and spray. I’m sure they’ve got more than eight legs – I can’t bear to look at them. They wriggle and squirm – even the next morning the damn thing’s legs will still be kicking. Answer: get the broom and sweep it out of the house right away.
The next morning I’m sitting at my desk enjoying the view as the Kingfisher lands on the washing line just a few feet from my window.
It’s such a beautiful bird. But what’s that in its big red beak? An enormous cockroach! God it looks disgusting. And I panic, realising it’s probably the poisoned cockroach I’ve swept out the back door a few hours earlier…
I watch the Kingfisher struggling to swallow the big leggy insect – will it too succumb to Doom … ?
There then followed two days of silent mornings: “Please come back and wake me up every morning, please don’t let me have poisoned you” I plead.
And so Mr Kingfisher is back! I can’t be anything but happy and relieved now when I see and hear him (even at 5.30 am!)
“Don’t console yourself Charlotte – it’s a different bird that’s assumed his territory,” Julia chides me.
So what interesting wildlife have you seen during the rainy season?
And have you eaten enswa? Should I?
If you like birds, you might enjoy some of the Muzungu’s Uganda birding stories.
And if like dogs, you might enjoy more of my morning / evening dog walks around Kampala.
Are muzungus all rich?
“For us we know you are rich”
Being a Muzungu (having a white skin) defines me as rich, or so the rolex man tells me.
Let’s talk English semantics here: when he says he knows I’m rich, he could also mean he believes I am rich.
Are school fees due? I don’t think so. Nonetheless, three incidents in 24 hours this week annoyed me – they’re nothing really, but when they come at you – one after the other – they can get you down.
Part One – the Muzungu and the casino chips
Last Monday night Julia and I went to a local restaurant. It looked like a bit of a dive but we were starving. There were no other customers so we thought we might be lucky and get served quickly.
We went through the normal routine: “We are in a hurry, how long will it be?”
“It will be quick Madam” came the reply, “we have machines.”
Three quarters of an hour later, a bowl of vegetable dall and chips finally emerged (quite what those machines were, we will never know…)
Did she think the Muzungu had ordered Casino chips?
When it came to paying the bill, a sultry girl (invisible until this point), hung around the table demanding attention. She presented us with a handwritten bill for two mango juices, chips and dall.
“8500 shillings for chips!” screamed Julia. “Let me see the menu.”
“You had chicken and chips” the girl said. “No we didn’t,” Julia answered back. The remains of dall – and not chicken – were clearly there on the table in front of her.
There was some reluctant shuffling and the greasy, fingerprint-stained remains of a menu were handed to us.
“We’re not paying this bill – the menu says chips are only 3000 shillings.”
The girl picked the bill up from the table in her left hand – and with her right hand replaced it with another handwritten bill, identical except for the total.
“Why did you write two bills?” I confronted the girl. Her attempts to fleece us were so transparent, it’s laughable.
Part Two – the Muzungu and the gold-plated Rolex
The next morning in Entebbe, I pulled over at the side of the road for a quick breakfast before my meeting.
“How much is your rolex please?”
“Only 2000 shillings.”
“I don’t pay that even in Kampala!” I retorted. (I pay maximum 1500). I was half asleep but the second blatant attempt to rip me off in less than 24 hours really got my goat.
Riled, I asked him “so you think all muzungus are rich?” He laughed “For us we know you are rich.”
Gold plated Rollex – this is what I thought I was being charged for – not an omelette wrapped in a chapati
How can I explain to him that the car he sees me drive was bought with a loan from my dad? Will he appreciate the fact I spent the first 2 1/2 years of my life in Uganda working as a volunteer? Will he respect the fact that I’ve been helping a Ugandan friend through university? What will he think of the fact I employ two people that I can’t really afford to employ simply because I like them and want to support them? These thoughts go through my head time and again – but there’s no point in saying anything, he wants his bit of me just like everyone else does. And really, what’s 500 shillings to me anyway?
[500 shillings is approx 12 British pence or 20 US cents]. What a shame I am paid in shillings though, isn’t it?
Part Three – the Muzungu gets tanked up
I pulled over at the petrol station to buy fuel for the 40 something km drive back to Kampala. The attendant greets me with a fabulous grin “Good morning Madam, how are you?”
Such a lovely greeting is the norm and I reply in kind.
I know the question is coming but I’ll have to disappoint him… “Fill her up Madam?” He beams.
“Just give me 30,000” the muzungu snaps back at him.
Don’t get on the wrong side of Tank Girl Charlie!
Some days Uganda, I am just not in the mood!
I chatted all this over with Simpson and he’s right – Ugandans get treated exactly the same way. People need money.
Just don’t expect me to tip you if you get caught trying to rip me off – and at least the man at the petrol station greeted me with a smile.
So how has your week been? Did you come out on top?
If you like reading Diary of a Muzungu, please comment and share my blog with your friends. If you’re interested in writing a guest post, I would love to hear from you! Read more about writing a guest post here
Driving in Kampala – not for the nervous
Driving in Kampala? Then you’ll need to read this first!
Welcome to Diary of a Muzungu! This week’s guest post is by Mark Penhallow. Mark has been working in the roads sector in Uganda since 2001 and has recently returned to the UK after 2 years based in Kampala. Mark writes:
Ugandans are generally friendly, intelligent and considerate people, but they should never, ever be allowed anywhere close to a steering wheel (or a microphone for that matter) when, for some inexplicable reason, these admirable characteristics (plus any sense of self-preservation) seem to abandon them entirely!
If you plan to drive in or through Kampala (which is unavoidable when you visit Uganda), it’s imperative to remember that it’s a war out there and to be prepared for battle!
Some rules of engagement do exist (such as driving on the left), but these appear to be advisory only and are frequently ignored. Consequently, there is no point of waving a “Highway Code” at anyone or claiming any self-righteousness, such as “but it’s my right of way!” or “I got here first” as this merely produces looks of utter perplexion and shrugged shoulders.
One of the slower moving obstacles to avoid while driving in Kampala
How to prepare your vehicle for battle
- The bigger the vehicle, the better. “BIG IS BIG” as a windscreen sticker in one of the city’s matatu (taxis) says.
- The presence of “bull bars” on the front of your vehicle helps intimidate other road users; show them you mean business! Loud horns are important, together with full-beam lights for after dark.
- The presence of other miscellaneous items such as indicators, tyre treads, brakes and windscreen wipers is usually an indication that the vehicle belongs to an affluent foreigner or even richer NGO.
- If your vehicle does have such ancillary items, use these to fool other road users:
- Flash your lights means “go ahead” or equally the opposite “I’m coming through.”
- A right hand indicator means either “I’m pulling off to the left, so you can overtake me” or occasionally, “I’m going to turn right.”
You will notice that, yes, one meaning completely contradicts the other and could easily result in a collision – welcome to Kampala!
Now you’re prepared for battle, let me introduce you to some of your fellow road users:
Pedestrians
Pedestrians are an occupational hazard of driving in Kampala, but can usually be safely ignored by drivers. Unfortunately, instead of remaining in the narrow areas of mud or dust that line Kampala’s roadsides, they have an inconsiderate tendency to walk in the roadway instead, often getting in the way of vehicles. A sharp blast from the car horn is usually sufficient to scatter them out of your way.
Should you happen to hit one of these individuals, it’s unlikely anyone will care, as they tend to be poor and, as would appear from the state of the facilities provided for them throughout the city, the authorities clearly do not think these people are important anyway. Anyone important or rich has a car of course, so it is their needs which the authorities aim to satisfy above anyone else’s.
A note of caution! Beware of pedestrians in white uniforms, especially if they start waving little red objects at you, as they are particularly keen to greet foreigners.
Fortunately, these people are often quite fat (especially the successful ones), so are relatively easy to spot from afar. Their waving usually indicates that they are feeling hungry and want you to stop, so that they can tell you of some spectacularly imaginative reason why you should pay for their lunch. Consequently, they tend to be especially busy in the mornings, and less so after lunch. Their levels of activity also rise in the run-up to Christmas and when school fees are due.
How to deal with pedestrians in white uniforms (sometimes referred to as ‘traffic policemen’):
1. Look away and pretend you haven’t seen them: eye contact is especially foolhardy.
2. Having red number plates (denoting you work for a NGO) can be partially effective. The best avoidance tactic is to own a pair of blue (diplomatic) plates, which as you will inevitably see, allows you to do whatever you want, without having to worry about anyone else.
3. Adding a little flag to the front of your vehicle can help too (and is certainly good for your ego).
4. If you are feeling especially insecure, insignificant and unimportant, why not hire a truck full of uniformed men to escort you to the shops and restaurants around town? Make sure that your escort vehicle has a wide range of different tunes to blast through its sirens, as you speed through the traffic of Kampala. This adds variety to your trip and startles other drivers, which is always fun.
The Muzungu says: I’ve run into Kampala’s thirsty policemen more than once….
Cyclists
Cyclists are also a nuisance but, being relatively small and slow moving, they can usually be forced out of your way, as you make you way through the city in air conditioned comfort. There are a lot of cyclists but, like pedestrians, they are neither important nor rich, so their needs can safely be ignored.
Away from the city centre, boda bodas can be a lot of fun
Boda boda (motorbike taxis)
Boda bodas, upon which entire extended families travel together (plus furniture, animals and household goods), are more of a problem, as they multiply and spread like bacteria across Kampala’s urban sprawl. They comply with no rules or regulations. In fact, it is only their evident desire to perish as quickly as possible that has any impact on controlling their numbers.
Room for one more? Baboon on a boda boda
If you are ever tempted to make use of their pillion passenger services, then ensure that you have bade fond farewell to the family first, finalised your Will and paid for the best quality medical services that any insurance policy can buy.
The Muzungu: boda bodas feature in my 50 reasons why I love Uganda
Finally, a special mention must be made of the Matatus, the majority of vehicles in the city’s congested streets. These too are a law unto themselves, overloaded with passengers (human, chicken or goat), plus suitcases, hooks of matoke, sacks of farm produce and a myriad of other items indispensable to African life. It is of course far more important to load the vehicle’s roof and boot with mattresses and rain barrels than it is to be able to see the road, as Matatus claim absolute right to do any manoeuvre at any time.
A large, 4 wheel drive vehicle (as recommended above) may help to moderate the matatus’ bullying tactics, but their insatiable enthusiasm to get to the next stop before anyone else knows no bounds. If this requires driving on footpaths, verges or the wrong side of the road, then woe betide anyone who gets in their way.
So, enjoy your trip across Kampala. It will certainly be an adventure!
The Muzungu: thanks Mark for a hilarious view of driving in Kampala! Mark enjoys creative writing and is also an expert public speaker.
Do you have a story or some advice you’d like to share? Please read my Guests Posts page for guidelines on the kinds of stories I feature on Diary of a Muzungu.
If you live in Kampala, what are your driving tips?
Be part of something BIG!
The Uganda Kob and the Grey Crested Crane adorn the country’s crest – (which bird will replace it in 20 years time when the bird is extinct?)
“Birding@50” focuses on the plight of Uganda’s national symbol, the Grey Crowned Crane.
While the country has been (for the most part) celebrating 50 years of independence, Uganda’s national symbol is in crisis. The Grey Crowned Crane is under serious threat as her wetlands habitats are polluted, eroded, degraded and built upon. Human development is swallowing up the wetlands.
Left unchallenged, the Crane will not survive, and it is estimated that the Grey Crowned (or ‘Crested’) Crane will be extinct in Uganda within just 20 years.
Ironically, the fact that Cranes are monogamous birds that pair for life is one of the factors pushing them towards extinction. Some people hold the traditional belief that eating or using a Crane product will therefore strengthen their own relationship.
NatureUganda is leading the campaign to save the Crane.
We urge individuals and the authorities to protect the wetlands. We need people to ask themselves “when did you last see a young or adult Crane? Do you see them as often now as you did when you were a child?”
It is no coincidence that as humans encroach upon the wetlands, the number of Cranes has plummeted across the country.
NatureUganda’s Achilles Byaruhanga tells us more about this sensational bird in The Crested Crane: Uganda’s symbol of beauty and serenity
So why am I talking about this?
It’s because this Saturday 20th October will be BIG BIRDING DAY 2012!
BBD is a country-wide “big birding race” between birding groups, led by experienced bird guides, who will aim to record as many bird species as possible in a single 24 hour period.
NatureUganda has 47 teams registered so far, across the country. More teams are registering, making this the biggest BBD ever!
There’s free entry for all participants birding in National Parks, Wildlife Reserves and Forest Reserves – but you need to register with NatureUganda first.
The results of the BBD race will be announced during the Big Birding festival on Saturday 27th October 2012 at Entebbe Botanic Gardens. See poster for more details!
The importance of Birds
Despite the large number of birds in Uganda – almost half the continent’s species – very few Ugandans are aware of the country’s rich diversity. The “Uganda Big Birding Day” helps promote avi-conservation and avi-tourism – bird conservation and tourism or ‘birding.’ Although avi-tourism is developing in Uganda, very few locals take part – yet! More trained bird guides are needed!
If you like birds, you might enjoy some of my other stories about birding in Uganda.
Check out all these lovely FREE events! Big Birding Day Uganda 2012
50 reasons why I love Uganda
As one of the shiny new fighter jets flies over my house, no doubt practising for this Tuesday’s independence day fly-past, I’m mulling over the week-end papers, full of stories about Uganda@50 and what the last 50 years of independence have meant to Uganda. Is the country better or worse off as an independent nation? What does the future hold? Will the celebrations be hijacked by anti-government protesters? Will there be tears before bedtime?
I’m no expert on Ugandan politics (although the muzungu is very proud of her politics degree from SOAS) – so let’s leave the analysis to the pundits and have some fun.
So, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of independence, I thought I’d share with you my top 50 reasons why I Love Uganda.
I Love Uganda! ’tis true
1. Airtime. Everywhere you go, every shop, bar or street corner can sell you mobile phone credit, for as little as 200 Uganda shillings (a few cents or pennies).
2. Boda boda. There are 100,000 of these motorbike taxis in Kampala. Huge fun but use with extreme caution. Don’t expect them to hang around if you have an accident. Read How to ride a boda boda.
Boda bodas Uganda
3. Birds, birds birds. I LOVE BIRDS! And Uganda has over 1000 species: pretty, beautiful, stunning, huge, noisy, elegant, comical, graceful, they’re all here.
Great Blue Turaco, Sunbird Hill. Kibale Forest edge
4. Bus Journeys. Hmmm am I crazy? Frankly, any bus journey could be your last but one of my favourite memories is taking a bus from Kasese down to Butogota. 10,000 shillings for a free Safari as we drove down through Maramagambo Forest sighting elephants. Ahh.
5. Cappuccino. I love Ugandan coffee, just don’t serve me Star coffee powder!
6. Chimps at Ngamba Island. I fell in love with the hilarious chimps.
Ngamba Island Uganda chimp fingerface www.chrisaustria.com
7. Dancing. Africans invented dance! Try keeping me off the dancefloor.
8. Dogs – ‘the boys’ Baldrick and Percy. These recycled street dogs light up my day. Always happy to see me, following me around until I give them what they want – food and a chance to escape the compound and chase a goat.
Baldrick Superdog came First in the Dog with the Waggiest Tail competition at the USPCA dog show
9. Driving in Kampala. Yes the traffic is a nightmare, yes the potholes wreck your car, but there’s something quite liberating about driving through this city at times. Careering over the wrong side of the road to dodge potholes can be fun, let’s be honest!
Idi Amin’s car Lubiri Palace Kampala
10. Dung Beetles rock!
11. Elephants brought me to Uganda. (Yeah I know, most people would just get on a plane!)
Bull elephant feeding along the Kazinga Channel. Can you spot the hippo hiding in front of him?
12. Food menus. Guaranteed entertainment. A menu is simply a guide to what may possibly be available at one given point in time. It does not reflect what is actually in the kitchen.
13. Fruit and vegetables. Huge, fresh, tasty and cheap.
14. Gorillas. I enjoyed the trek through the rainforest as much as meeting Bwindi’s Gentle Giants.
15. Grasshoppers taste greasy and smoky (best dry fried in chilli I’m told).
The muzungu’s first taste of grasshoppers
16. Greetings! I love the time and care Ugandans take to greet each other properly.
17. The Grey Crowned Crane – previously known as the Crested Crane – is Uganda’s iconic national symbol. The Crested Crane may well be extinct in Uganda within just 20 years, if degradation of the wetlands is not stopped. NatureUganda is leading the campaign to Save the Crane.
The Grey Crowned Crane – commonly known as theCrested Crane – is Uganda’s national bird. PHOTO Andy Gooch
18. Jane Bussman is a British comedy writer campaigning to have Joseph Kony, leader of the LRA, caught. She’s on the ball and she’s hilarious.
19. Jinja, Source of the Nile, interesting colonial architecture, a market that is less congested than Kampala’s – and location for some memorable weekends at Nile River Camp.
20. Kampala Hash House Harriers have taken me to every bar, club – and slum! – across Kampala. The ‘drinking club with a running problem’ meets every Monday night.
21. Kibale Forest is where my friend Julia calls home, ideally at the top of a tree!
22. Lake Victoria. The world’s second largest freshwater lake – and the largest on the African continent – is where we taught our dogs to swim. Even as my feet crunched onto the tiny snails on the lake bed, I seem to have so far avoided Bilharzia! Can dogs catch it too?
A fisherman passes the beach at Munyonyo, Lake Victoria
23. Lions. Breathtaking – and a lot bigger in real life!
24. Mongooses experience in Queen Elizabeth National Park.
25. Mount Elgon. An unexpected wilderness experience, we climbed through seven habitats in four days and passed only two other groups of people. Would I do it again? Yes. Would I climb Margherita in the Rwenzori’s? One day maybe, but not without getting a LOT fitter first …
26. Muchomo roasted meat. No ‘gizzards’ (entrails) for me. I’m an occasional “chicken on a stick” woman.
27. Mighty Murchison Falls. Isn’t it annoying when you’ve heard the hype, and feel disappointed when you get there? GUARANTEE: you won’t be disappointed when you get to the top of the Falls! Read Stirring up magic at the Devil’s Cauldron, Murchison Falls.
Top of Murchison Falls – above the Devil’s Cauldron. PHOTO Allan Ssenyonga
28. Music booming out from the church on Sunday morning can drive you to distraction. I love Ugandan music – but no idea what I’m singing along to!
29. Namuwongo. Once maligned as a no-go area of Kampala (I found out after living there for a year), I love Namuwongo. Squashed between the industrial area and smarter Muyenga, it’s where I first fell in love with Uganda.
30. Owino market has everything you could ever want to buy, but it’s hard work.
31. Power cuts can drive you crazy. But the romance of candlelight has its moments 😉
32. River Nile. “Bring it on!” I screamed on my first Grade 5 white water rafting expedition. Second time around, I invited a friend to take my place; third time rafting, and I bailed out as the biggest rapids approached! Feeling nervous, learning to trust your guide, screaming with laughter as you successfully (or not!) negotiate the rapids, you’ll certainly never forget a day on the Nile.
33. Rolex or ‘rolled eggs’ – an omelette rolled up in a chapati – is my favourite street food. Bigger than a snack, although no self respecting Ugandan could possibly call a rolex a meal (since that should be served on a plate at a table). Rolex taste best at midnight in Kabalagala on the way home from a bar 😉
#TrevorNoahVisitsUganda or did he?
Trveor Noah gets his rolex fix (allegedly) in Wandegeya, Kampala
Read The rolex: celebrating Uganda’s uniqueness.
34. Safari. Every Safari is different. To say that you have “done X Park” when you visited for a day or two just doesn’t make sense. I can’t get enough game drives!
Rothschild’s Giraffe, Murchison Falls National Park
35. Sense of humour. Ugandans can charm the pants off you. Difficult situations tend to be dealt with humour, so refreshing after living in London where people resort to shouting and swearing.
36. Simpson. My ‘Ugandan brother‘ has been with me through thick and thin (in fact he became very thin when he was a student, going without food so he could afford the fare to university). He’s my hero! His graduation is 20th of October, and I have a front seat. I’m so proud of him. But wait – next up he’s going to be a pop star!
37. Smoking. Oh yes. Cigarettes are cheap and we spend most of our time outside. No stuffy rules to worry us!
38. Snakes. Would I like to find one in my shower? No, but they do fascinate me.
39. Sunrise and Sunset. A reason to get up early and a reason to have a drink in your hand 😉
April sunset from Butterfly Cottage, Sunbird Hill
40. Tilapia. Best eaten whole, with your hands, on the lake edge at Ggaba.
41. Totems. Having the Ugandan name ‘Nagawa’ – thanks to my friend Rashid – has been a huge icebreaker. It’s given me hours of fun. I’m therefore a member of the Nkima red tailed monkey clan.
42. Uganda Conservation Foundation. Anti-poaching and human wildlife conflict – a.k.a. anything to do with elephants – is the mission of UCF, whom I volunteered with for nearly three years.
43. Uganda Museum. Dusty and under resourced, the Museum is still a gem. I’ve fallen for its charms.
The Uganda Museum contains historical and cultural artefacts – and even the country’s first printing press!
44. Uganda souvenir photo map. This great fun project keeps my creative heart thumping. I’ve just created a new Uganda souvenir photo map gallery page on Facebook.
Map of Uganda courtesy of Andrew Roberts – I personalise these maps with your favourite photos to make “your own map of Uganda” – here’s just one of the many I have made
45. Uganda Waragi is a triple distilled ‘war gin.’ Handbag size bottles available ladies 😉
46. Uglish. Otherwise known as Ugandan English, this language gives us – expats and Ugandans alike – endless laughs. I tried to keep a straight face when Janero told me he had “pregnanted his girlfriend.” To read more up funny examples, check out the superb Uglish Facebook page
47. UWEC Uganda Wildlife Education Centre (once Entebbe Zoo) has a cafe overlooking the beach. Everything seems to be sold out by the time I get there – but the view’s worth it. You can see virtually all of Uganda’s big mammals at UWEC.
48. Vultures are ugly but our health depends on them. Fascinating!
49. Weather. Even when it rains, the sun comes out a few minutes later.
50. Writing Diary of a Muzungu has kept me distracted (when Ugandan TV couldn’t) and kept me sane (kind of!) when life hasn’t gone to plan. Thank you so much to everyone who reads this. You make the late nights and the missed week-ends all worthwhile.
50 reasons why I love Uganda – and I could have found more! So tell me what would be in your top 50 things you love about Uganda?
– I know my Ugandan friends will scream MATOKE! (steamed green banana – compulsory eating for many!)
